+ Season 1

Episode 1: Two Body Problem - transcript - PDF - Captioned Video

Episode 2: Ranking your friends - transcript - PDF - Captioned Video

Episode 3: Barbabrababs - transcript - PDF

Episode 4: What is a phone, even? - transcript

Episode 5: Dangerous and Illegal Time Tourism - transcript

Episode 6: The Big Game - transcript

Episode 7: Brain Parasites and you - transcript

Episode 8: Possibly-a-robot Moments - transcript

Episode 9: That's Not a Unicycle, It's My Legs! - transcript

Episode 10: Under New Management - transcript

+ Season 2

Mini Episode 1: Loaf's Voicemails - transcript

Mini Episode 2: Janet's Voicemails - transcript

Mini Episode 3: Office Announcements - transcript

Episode 11: I've Deleted Grandma - transcript

Episode 12: Groupthink United - transcript

Episode 13: 87 Ghostcabbages - transcript

Episode 14: You Only Live Eight Times - transcript

Episode 15: I love you, but I've chosen trash! - transcript

Mini Ep. 4: Samantha / Coffee break - transcript

Episode 16: The Shiniest of Aprons - A Dating Special - transcript

Episode 17: Be Your Best Capitalist Self - transcript

Mini Ep. 5: Office Gossip - transcript

Episode 18: Hot Messes Together - transcript

Episode 19: All About the Disruption of Narrative Causality - transcript

Episode 20: Active Sabotage is a Love Language - transcript

Mini Ep. 6: Melody's Comedy Audition Reel - transcript

+ Season 3

Nassif's Log: a Solutions to Problems Recap - transcript

Mini Ep. 7: Sustenance Party - transcript

Mini Ep. 8: The Network of Janets - transcript

Mini Ep. 9: The Printer - transcript

Ep. 21: Summer Vacation & Crustacean Devastation - transcript

Ep. 22: No Optimal Time to Date Me - transcript

Ep. 23: Unfettered & Free To Tell You Exactly How I Feel - transcript

Ep. 24: Compassion is Compulsory - transcript

Mini Ep. 10: Alternate Universe Karaoke - transcript

Mini Ep. 11: The Council of Interns / The Hand Off - transcript

Episode 25: An Excellent Strange Quagmire - transcript

Episode 26: Extremely Mundane Dragons - transcript

Episode 27: Adorable In The Most Horrifying Way - transcript

Episode 28: Be As Average As Possible - A Dating Special - transcript

Episode 29: Into the Deep Blue Screen I Go - transcript

Episode 30: The Time Travel Tapes - transcript

Mini Ep. 13: Loaf and Sam On Assignment - transcript

+ Wait Wait Don't Teleport Me!!

WWDTM!! Episode 1 of 4 - transcript

WWDTM!! Episode 2 of 4 - transcript

WWDTM!! Episode 3 of 4 - transcript

WWDTM!! Episode 4 of 4 - transcript

+ Bonus

Behind the Scenes of Season 1 - transcript

Behind the Scenes of Season 2 - transcript

Check us out in this crossover episode of How to Listen to Music in the 22nd Century! Transcript forthcoming. - HTLM22's Website